January 2023

“I am not responsible for your happiness.” This is what I finally told my daughter one day after one of her pouting sessions because I said ‘no’ to one of her no doubt outlandish requests. This may be a ‘duh’ moment for some or an ‘a-ha’ moment for others. For me, it was one of the most freeing things I’ve done in a long time.

I used to be sad if my child was sad because I told her she couldn’t do this or that. I would tell any one of my friends or family members that happiness is a mindset, so why did I not feel the same when it came to my child? Her “happiness” gave me a false sense of security that everything was going well; but what was I teaching her? That you can always get your way if you throw a big enough fit? That everything in life will always go your way? I know children are manipulative to the extent that you allow them to be and one day I realized I was being played. My child knew that I was painful for me to say no to her and she exploited the hell out of that.

My dear daughter, the world will not always tell you yes and the world sure as heck doesn’t care about your happiness. So, I’ve found ways to teach her to be happy within herself (ongoing process), to be proud of herself…detached from the things I was saying yes to. Detached from her always getting her way.

I am not responsible for your happiness…but I am responsible for raising an upstanding, respectable member of society. I am responsible for providing you love, food and shelter and that you have the best education I can provide for. But I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE for spoiling you and contributing to you being an entitled brat. One of the most important lessons to learn is happiness comes from within and never give anyone else the power to affect your mood.