Be Positive: I find this to be so difficult sometimes. Life has a way sometimes of pushing you to your limit. What I find helpful is to think of the absolute worst case scenario and try to solve/deal with that problem. Anything other than worst case is doable by default.
Be Present: another thing I struggle with is going thru the motions of life instead of living it. For so many years after I lost my husband, I was just focused on getting thru the day. If a challenge came up, I didn’t know how to deal with it…so I wouldn’t. I would zone out or I would sleep. It has been a struggle for me to pay attention and actually live in this moment. I don’t want to look back years from now and have regrets that I didn’t show up for myself or my child. I am by no means present all the time, but I am so much better than I used to be. I have to allow myself some grace as I didn’t develop this habit overnight so chances are it will not be fixed overnight.
Be Prayerful: this one has gotten me through on a daily basis. In all things I do. My faith is what gets me to put one foot in front of the other. Being a parent in general is not without its challenges; being a single parent magnifies those challenges significantly. As I have mentioned in previous posts, for months after I lost my husband, I would ask the Lord to get me through the day 5 minutes at a time. Now I pray daily for and with my child. Everyday on the way to school we practice gratitude and say aloud all we a thankful for that day. I always start the conversation…always. When we first started, it was met with opposition and questioning as to why we had to do this daily. Every day it seemed to be a chore to my child but begrudgingly she did it. As a parent, I sometimes wonder if things ‘stick’. Like, “is what I’m trying to accomplish here actually working?” Well, the morning that SHE began the conversation one morning about what we were grateful for that day, it felt like I had won the lottery.
Be Particular about the things and the people you allow in your life and in your thoughts. Everyone in the world is not good…something I have had to learn the hard way. Peace is a precious thing. I have spent a very long time cultivating mine and I cannot allow anyone to disturb it.
Be Persistent: life is challenging and sometimes the answer is NO but it doesn’t always mean NO forever. There have been plenty of times where I wanted to give up; times when I felt like it was just to hard to try. To be honest, in those times I didn’t always try. Then I had a daughter…and I realized as she got older that it was more important for me to practice what I preach. If anyone is going to call bullshit on the discrepancy between what you say and what you do, it will be your child.
LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!
I love that you outlined 5 of my favorite aspects of how I see you! I love that through allowing yourself to grieve, you are re-examining what it means to actually be YOU!
… but maybe a 6 1/2 P… Playful but Prudent – your joking side balanced with wise decisions is so uniquely YOU!!
Btw…. Agree! – Active listening is EXHAUSTING… but the look on my girls’ faces when I close my laptop/put down my phone/turn off the radio – it’s one of the tiny ways that I can tell them how important they are to me.